To my Sons on Mother's Day

                                                                                                              May 14, 2017

Dear Sons,

This is the 32nd year I have celebrated Mother's Day as a Mom.  In the quiet of the morning I am remembering past Mother's Days and smiling.  I remember the many breakfasts in bed, me lying there, pretending to still be asleep, while you both and your Dad banged and clanged dishes and pots and pans.  I remember the smells of bacon frying and coffee brewing.  I remember the trays of food brought to me in bed that always held at least one flower from the garden.  

I remember homemade cards on construction paper with little hand prints, stickers, wildly colored flowers, and such heartfelt love.  It seemed like the blink of an eye and those homemade cards on the breakfast tray gave way to beautiful purchased cards that you knew would still make me cry. (I know, I know - it is not hard to make me cry.)

I remember the marigolds planted in Dixie Cups, the homemade heart magnets, and all the other treasures you have made for me throughout the years.

Then, I blinked and you were both men,  both taller than me,  both wearing shoes bigger than your Dad's - not my little boys anymore.  Each with your own distinct personalities and your own unique wisdom.

I blinked and one of you were not here for the first time ever on Mother's Day, gone away to college. While I was extremely proud of your choice, I missed you terribly.

I blinked again and the other one of you was not here for the first time ever on Mother's Day, gone overseas to serve our country.    I was also extremely proud of your choice, but I missed you terribly.

Part of me misses those Mother's Days when you were both were so very young and home was your whole world. Part of me misses those days when construction paper cards, breakfasts in bed, and a daffodil picked from the yard were given with such pride and love. I miss those days when you were both small enough to fit in my lap and a kiss and a glass of Koolaid would fix just about anything.  I will forever cherish  those days. Sometimes, they seem like only yesterday.  Some days, it seems like a million years ago.

We've walked some tough roads since those days.  We've had some very hard days, months,and even years.  Some were consequences of our own choices.  Others were paths we never would have chosen, if we had been given the choice. Through it all, the ups and downs, the good and the hard, the joy and the pain,  the chosen and the unchosen,  there were things that remained constant.

We were always there for each other, through the laughter and the pain, one giving strength when the others were weak.  We always knew God was with us, and that He did indeed have a plan, even in what seemed like the darkest of days.

I think most Moms (and Dads) have doubts about their parenting, if they are honest with themselves. Did they do the right things?  Did they do enough of the right things to negate the not right things? Were they available enough? Were they strict enough?  Were they too strict?   I have had all those doubts and many more, but what I can say without any doubt, is that I have loved you both since the very moment I knew you were coming.  I have loved you with a love that is strong and fierce and protective and unconditional.  I am so proud of the men you have become.  You are both faithful, kind, compassionate, loving men.  The world needs more men like you two.

I am so thankful, proud, and yet so humble that God entrusted me to be your Mom.  You both are the reason I get to celebrate this day.

To the moon and back.....

Love,
Mom

To My Mama

Dear Mom,
Did I ever tell you that you’re my hero? I know that sounds trite, but when I look back over the years and I think of all the things I have learned from you, I am amazed that a farm girl from a small town could be so wise and so strong.

You have not always had an easy life, but you always persevered. You hung in there when you had to be a full-time single working mother to a little girl in a time when that was not very socially acceptable. You hung in there when you had to move away from your family & friends for your husband’s job. You hung in there when you had a child born with a birth defect. You hung in there when you had a rebellious teenage daughter that ridiculed all the things you held dear. You hung in there when you were diagnosed with a disease that could be managed, but not cured.

You taught me that God will provide when you can’t imagine how. I cherish the story of how you would put your last $2 in the offering at church, not knowing how you were going to feed us for the week, yet somehow, we always managed to eat. Even though I was very small, I don’t ever remember feeling afraid or sad during that time in our lives, even though I’m sure most days you were both.

You taught me that people make mistakes and it’s not our place to judge. When 2 of my friends got pregnant in high school, your response has always stayed with me. You said, “They must have really loved him.” No judgment about right or wrong because you knew that would have started one of those battles that I was so fond of at the time and closed the door for any further discussions.

You taught me that doctors don’t always know what’s best for your child and to trust your heart.

You taught me that home is always home. When I thought I knew everything at 18 & decided to move across country with about two cents in my pocket and dubious travelling company, you told me I could always come home. Your love was always unconditional, even when I made choices that made you angry or broke your heart.

You taught me that nature and the beauty in it are one of God’s nicest gifts to us and to stop and take time to appreciate it.

You taught me that God has a purpose for us regardless of what our circumstances are and will see us through anything. I pray God has granted me the wisdom to impart the faith and strength and unconditional love to my boys that you have given me. I know you don’t always feel strong, but you are one of the strongest women I know. Yes, you are truly my hero.

I love you, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day.