Monday, September 1, 2014

Missing You

It's been almost a year and a half – seventy eight weeks – five hundred and forty seven days-since you left
Somehow I didn't think it would still be this hard
I didn't think the ache would still feel so fresh
I didn't think the memories would still assault so unexpectedly
I didn't think the wound would still feel so raw

I talked a lot about getting used to the “new normal” in the beginning
As the “new” normal became the normal, I thought it would just be easier
I didn't think I would still hear your voice at unexpected times
I didn't think I would still miss the little things so much
I didn't think the tears would still appear so frequently

I thought the one year mark held some kind of magic healing power
We had endured all the firsts without you so surely the next round would be easier
Your absence is still so obvious
Your laughter is still so missed
You've left a hole no one will ever be able to fill

And, yes, we're moving ahead
Changes have been made
Life goes on
But it goes on without you
And it will never be the same

Healing comes slowly, painfully
The journey of life continues
The good, the bad, the celebrated, the mourned
The sun still rises and the moon still shines
The stars come out and the rain comes down

And through it all,
God whispers gently, “I'm still here,
I see your tears and I've caught them all,
I see your pain and you are not alone
Come to me, my child, and I will give you peace
I will give you rest”