It took me a while to even locate my blog out here in cyberspace. Imagine my surprise to see my last post was in 2010! Obviously, I have not been very dedicated to blogging. Lately, though, I have been feeling the "bug" to start writing again. Some of my motivation is personal - I have recently (3 1/2 months ago) become a widow - a word I had always associated with much older, gray-haired ladies. To find myself in this category at the age of 57 was, understatedly, a surprise. There are so many things I still have to process and wrap my head around, things I am still getting used to, trying to figure out. But more importantly, I have so many things to share about God's grace, timing, and provision that I felt compelled to start writing again.
It is feeling like Spring here - a full month after the calendar told us it should be here, but waiting only makes the arrival that much sweeter. My husband always loved Spring. He was passionate, to say the least, about our lawn. Working all day out in the yard was not work to him, but pure joy. He took pride in having a well manicured, green lawn. My passion runs more toward bright, colorful flowers rather than green grass, but the two complimented each other nicely. Unfortunately, our beautiful lawn is not so beautiful this Spring. At least half of the yard is brown dirt with no hint of green coming through. So, I had a choice to make. Do I hire someone to fix it? (My husband would have known exactly what the problem was and how to fix it.). Do I leave it and hope for the best? Or do I put on my big girl pants, do some research, and get out there and get dirty and try to figure out and fix the problem on my own?
A year later, I am revisiting this post. I obviously wasn't ready to share my thoughts last year - still too much to process, I guess. The learning and processing isn't done and I imagine will never be, but I have come a long way
in 15 months. God has carried me through another winter, a very long one, and is gently breathing new life into me.
One of the things I love most about spring is the new, fresh, tender life it brings. It comes gradually, quietly, and sometime retreats for a bit. At first, it seems like it will never come, but then you start to see small, subtle signs-gentle breezes bringing a new, clean smell to the air, daylight lasting a bit longer, tiny green shoots pushing up through the dry, dead leaves.
God brings healing the same way- slowly, gently, new life pushing up through what has felt dry and dead. The daylight seems to last a bit longer and the long nights get shorter. And, yes, at times it seems to retreat. The thing about Spring? If you don't go through a Winter, if you don't go through seasons, sometimes you can take the coming of Spring for granted. Know that whatever season you may be in, God will bring you through it and Spring will come again. It may not come as quickly as you would like, but trust that it will come. And while you are waiting? God promises never to leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5) and to hold you in His hand (Psalm 37:24).
Oh, the dead spots in the lawn? Grubs! The problem is not completely fixed, but the dead spots are smaller this year, there is new, tender grass sprouting, and more seed has been sown. Just like God is doing in my life and like He will do in yours-the dead spots will recede and He will grow new things in you.